All children need discipline. As obvious as that may seem, disciplining gifted children may seem unnecessary much of the time, because they may have advanced verbal skills and be very manipulative. Consequently, parents tend to relate to their gifted child as an adult. It is difficult to treat a child as a child when you can carry on a conversation as an adult.

These children are very good in power struggles. Because they are smart, they may legitimately win some arguments. Still, in matters of behavior and discipline, the parent must maintain some control. The secret is communication. There are a few things most gifted children have in common.

Gifted children are often hyperactive. These children seem to be overly excitable and may be very creative in one or more areas. An excess of energy and inability to focus on matters outside of their interest may cause them to be labeled ADD or ADHD. Often these children are underachievers. These issues do not require discipline. Instead, the environment needs to be evaluated. Often schools, with preset curriculum and overworked teachers, simply bore them. This may lead to negative behavior at school. Although discipline may be necessary, it would be much more effective to challenge the child in an area of his interest.

Gifted children are curious. This child’s curiosity may be obsessive. In trying to learn about a subject or conquer a talent, he may eat and sleep the subject to the exclusion of all else until satisfied. This is not stubbornness or misbehavior, but simply his curiosity taking over. It is better to encourage and even help the child find solutions than to try to curb the activity. Once the child has conquered the challenge, he will move on to something else.

Gifted children are perfectionists. They need to be encouraged to do their best. They also must be made to understand that they sometimes will not be at the top of their class. They must learn that it is acceptable to sometimes just do well, but not be the best. Jane Nelson, of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, states that perfectionism can create discouragement that lasts a lifetime.

Gifted children are easily spoiled. You must not allow the child to get away with behavior not allowed to other children in the family or classroom. Bad behavior should be punished in the same way for all children in the group, regardless of ability. It is easy to overindulge the gifted child, as interaction with him often feels like conversing with another adult. We must remember that he is a child and must be treated like one. Don’t bargain with a gifted child. Usually they are great negotiators. Don’t get into a debate. You will probably lose and discipline will be gone.

Raising a gifted child requires patience and energy. Recognize that some recurring issues stem from curiosity and perfectionism. This will help you anticipate problems before they occur, and possibly head them off before discipline becomes an issue.